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Psalm 43:5

I was watching Doug Addison's webcast where he was releasing a prophetic word for the month of October. I have followed his webcasts off and on for years and also subscribe to his daily prophetic words. They are always right on in my life so I know that he is hearing from God. Listed on the video was a title and that alone was exciting to me as it read that October is a month of "reconciliation from heaven".
My family needs heavenly reconciliation as there is so much separation and heartbreak that has been happening. My oldest son is going through some confusion and has chose to live with his biological dad recently and my husband and I are going through a legal separation. Both of which have been extremely difficult and heartbreaking. I could never explain the turmoil that has been happening but I keep praying for this storm to end and for peace that surpasses all understanding and for joy to be abundant in our lives and for healing, reconciliation and unity to prevail. Please keep my family in prayer.
 During the webcast he had mentioned a scripture. He brought up Psalm 43:5, my bible was right next to me so I opened it up and w hat scripture do you think it immediately was opened to? I laughed... "OK, I guess I should pay attention to this scripture", I thought before I had even read it or knew what it read.
Psalm 43:5
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior my God.

I have been back and forth in my spirit with being down and up, thankful and disappointed, feeling like I had been fed to ravenous sharks, yet standing and declaring God's promises into my life, hopeful one moment and in questioning disbelief another. Trying not to look around at my circumstances yet my circumstances are screaming at me impossibilities. Praying all throughout the day without seizing. As I read this it was another affirmation that God really does just want me to trust in Him. As much as there are so many things for me think of and wonder and waiting for some strategies from God on what to do next, I can't worry and let that worry rob me of joy. Why can it be easier to worry and feel hopeless than put my hope in God? God knows my walk in life, he knows each time I have been let down, he knows each time something was stolen from me, he knows each time someone had rejected me and put me down. It is easy to know that the enemy is the one who comes to seek, kill and destroy and not God, but its hard to understand why God will intervene for some people to stop that from happening and not others. Which questions my ability to trust. Can I truly trust you? Will I be disappointed again? Why have some things been allowed to happen in my life? Unless you have walked in someone else's shoes you do not know what they've endured in life. You can be quick to judge someone that they are not being hopeful or positive enough in any given situation, but do you know their history where healing and breakthrough and a positive experience is needed to trust again and hope again. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I have had my share in life to know this and it has been all to real to me.  The last couple years have been intense wave after wave of hurt and loss. My hope and trust has been tested. Yet as I read this scripture, that I opened up to as someone spoke it, I feel like it is the only answer. Nothing else works, nothing else takes the sting away, nothing else changes circumstances but to put my hope in God and praise him, who is my Savior and God. He created the heavens and earth, he created me, he knows the beginning from the end. He promised that he has a good future and plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). So I will choose to praise him. He is admired and praiseworthy. No matter what has happened in life, He is good. There is always something to praise him for. Here is a link to Doug Addison's webcast.
.http://vimeo.com/107838916

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